My Take on the Hitchhiker Movie

Before walking in, I knew that every incarnation of Hitchhiker has its differences and even contradictions, and knew some of that which to expect from IMDB and other internet resources devoted to the series and/or Douglas Adams. For example, my awareness that there will be an expanded romantic subplot between Authur Dent and Trillian and how dolphins will play a role in this film could have implementations for potential sequels. In the later novels, Authur has a romantic subplot with a woman who discovers God left a hidden message to his creation, and the dolphins implement a Save the Humans campaign. Hence, no sequel or such of a different tangent, books 3-5 will be impossible. Perhaps do Restaurant at the End of the Universe - book 2 - and leave it at that.

The other thing that need to be understood before seeing this movie, I think, is the difference between fans of Adams and fans of Hitchhiker. I never meet the guy, but know enough about him from other sources to know that he is an agnostic environmentalist who rather just live a carefree life while enjoying planet earth. The captain of the Golgafrincham's B Ark and the leader of the universe perhaps most reflect the man. Fans of Hitchhiker, in comparison, like the story itself, its mix of comedy, most of which is filled with witty dialogue, and sci-fi. The movie is more like Adams and less like typical Hitchhiker. And those hitchies who only like one version of it, "I like the radio series and THAT'S IT", will hate it before they even see it.

I fall in-between, leaning more to the hitchies. I knew much of the witty dialogue will be missing and seen in the trailers some physical humor which got me concerned the most. Slapstick comedy is only funny to a certain point for me. One preview I saw resembled Magrathea in the mini-series showing the characters being slapped on the face by something. That is what I was most afraid of. I suspected they replaced the lines in which Authur expressed fascination on being on an alien world while Ford said, "I rather be in cat litter", with that scene.

Anyway, I walked in the theater with a blue towel over my shoulder. They didn't award me with anything like a Marvin figurine... I want a Marvin figurine... since I had a towel. No one else had a towel either. Talk about a major disappointment. Instead everyone was eating popcorn while waiting for the movie to begin. Someone should write a H2G2 segment on this. Too bad Adams is gone.

Saw several good trailers. Tim Burton tries what he did with The Nightmare Before Christmas again with Johnny Depp, who stars in two of his other movies, with Corpse Bride. Fans of Jumanji will be happy with a psudo-sequal Zathana (misspelled... hey, the theater was dark!) Some movie called Sharkboy and Lavagirl by the creators of Spy Kids (no thanks). The one that attracted me the most is Herbie: Fully Loaded. Then there is Chicken Little. I don't want to see that. Why? THEY TOOK THE TEASER TRAILER OF HITCHHIKER AND USED IT AS THEIR OWN!!!! I hate Disney! The company, not the man.

Okay, the movie. Note that there is some minor spoilers for those who are not familiar with Hitchhiker. Then there is some parts that are *really* spoilerish for those who are! I'll note them so you can skip to the next paragraph if you want to avoid them.

After the opening dolphin sequence I heard so much about, with the traditional opening credits playing (irked about the fact I didn't heard Eagles Journey of the Sorcerer with the title on screen, but maybe...), the pace went into hyperdrive. Yes, the bulldozer scene was compressed, but the purpose was there and the missing dialogue went by without upsetting me. Too busy laughing! And no digital watch. One new thing that was appropriate and speed it up was Ford having a grocery cart full of beer and peanuts and use it to postpone Author's house demolition.

If your a hitchie, you know why beer and peanuts were used, and it wasn't explained in the film. Oh how newbies will miss so much! There is a HUGE number of inside jokes, like with Zaphod nearly called Ford Ix. Another thing is Marvin's voice is higher pitched. I like his new body, but a manic depressed personality should have it lower pitched, I think. Minor, I know. Same can be said about Deep Thought. The radio and miniseries Deep Thought had a DEEP male voice. In the movie, high pitched female.

Some of the changes though were for the better. The Vogons are MUCH better and plays a huge role in the movie. I did like the old "Resistance is useless!" and Vogon poetry. But the new things far out way those two complaints.

In fact, there was one thing missing in the miniseries that was put back in for the movie. The fact Zaphod had to cut his brain in half so he can have two heads! The subplot concerning this, found in the book, is replaced so he has a motivating factor to go to Magrathea. This also served another purpose....

SPOILER ALERT!!!! Skip the next paragraph, if you don't want to know the brand-smacking new second act!

Let me back peddle. They shown Zaphod's opponent briefly during the newscast of the president stealing The Heart of Gold. One of Adams satires deals with people who want power are by there very nature least qualified to have it. Later they came across the home planet of his opponent, and reveals him to be the spiritual leader of a religion that worships the being who is believed to have blown out the entire universe out of his nose. I don't recall this being's name, but hitchies will know what I am talking about. Anyway, their nose-blowing leader takes one of Zaphod's heads as hostage till he delivers something to him. These scenes were freaky for a PG film. That subplot is never settled - and ought to be if there is a sequel - so Zaphod basically have half a brain for the rest of the film. Ford had to put a helmet on with a fruit juice thing on top and used lemon juice on it to help him think better. And I won't tell you what he had to get. Just too huge of a spoiler! If you really want to know, I'll tell you, and why it is so potentially spoilerish if I even hint at it.

Many of the jokes are hard to notice. I barely caught some of the funny dialogue and the sound of petunias is heard crashing off screen. There was another Hitchhiker segment near the end of the credits which everyone missed but me. I caught the original Marvin cameo, but not the original Authur. I also missed the word Belgium - the most profane word in the universe. Another inside joke: why the lengthy sequence following Author and Ford being rescued, where Ford became a penguin, is replaced by the two being a mattress for a few seconds. And if there WAS corndogs in the movie, I sure have missed it. Darn IMDB posters!

I forgot something... ... ... oh, the book's intro! They did it right after Earth was demolished! It was CLASSIC hitchhiker with Journey of the Sorcerer and done wonderfully! Man I felt alone in that theater. Think I was the only one who recognized that tune. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe was mentioned at the end, setting up the sequel. Lets wait and see. 3.5/4